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the dandenongs, victoria, Australia
an artist and it solution architect living in the temperate rainforest of southeastern australia

Saturday, November 21, 2009

between the lines - i and ii

this is an interesting one. i have wanted to do something along these lines for a while. a lass named nikki spannuth posted a black and white photo on facebook that made a perfect subject. i was most interested in the way the light draws the viewer and the subject toward the unknown of the distance. i am not entirely happy with this piece - but it is a good start. i find that it is harder to please myself these days. that means i am either become better or worse - or, perhaps, grumpy...

i was going for a "dog day" afternoon motif. the ones remembered. the unyielding light and the softening shadows. there is something remembered about this - something very 60's, dylanesque. perhaps overly romantic. it is perhaps too busy. the shadows not strident enough against the light in the foreground. maybe it should be starker and more simple. the light going into the distance is there - but the rest of the piecee fails to uphold that. that is what i do not like.

so, here is the second version. smaller. starker. more strident. simpler too. can be simplified further i think...


Nick said...

I like the first one, the trees on the right feel good for the comp. Great piece joel! It's cool to see a different subject and handling

joel said...

great input Nick! i think it is the shape and not the trees themselves - yeah?

i like the composition of the first piece better in total after looking at it from afar for 24 hours.

thanks for your feedback - it means a lot!

-- joel.

wayne said...

I like the one below, the one with the stronger-toned and clearly demarcated shape of the bridge. Also prefer the down-playing of the railway tracks, and the general simplification of masses (e.g. trees) ... = a good one!!

joel said...

wayne thanks for the explanation and comments. between you and nick and dake i get all the feedback i need.

thanks for taking the time!

John Nicholas said...

Always did love a yellow,smoggy, sky. Perfect for an urban landscape.